As explored in Lesson 6.3 and throughout the School-Connect curriculum, emotions are one of the primary indicators of what matters to us and of how we experience life. While they are but one of the factors we should consider in making personal decisions, we often assign them considerable weight. To some degree, emotions are manifested by an automatic response that arises from unconscious thought. (See Lesson 1.4: Understanding Your Brain for more info about the powerful influences of limbic system.)

Being able to manage anger requires some knowledge of how anger arises and escalates, especially the role of our thought processes. Being mindful of the words we use – What triggered my anger? vs. What made me angry? – helps to underline that we have a choice in how we speak about and respond to anger. We can be proactive rather than reactive, and can exercise autonomy rather than be solely controlled by our emotions.

Our response to conflict (Lesson 6.4) can vary depending on the person involved, our temperament, our emotions at the time, how important the issue is to us, and whether we feel that we have power in the situation. Being aware of situations that may potentially trigger anger/conflict, and then having a plan to de-escalate are essential. De-escalation often requires stepping away from the situation until emotions are more manageable and then rejoining with the goal of understanding the other person’s perspective through effective dialogue and listening.

The SOLVE problem-solving strategy of Lesson 6.5 is composed of five steps, starting with Step 1: Stop and think, and Step 2: Objectively state the problem. The first step helps us to prepare for problem solving by controlling our impulses, identifying and managing our emotions, and going to a place where we can think things through. Developing an objective problem statement is often the most difficult but most fruitful step in the problem-solving process; as such, it deserves special attention. Because false assumptions are often the root cause of conflict, defining the problem from different perspectives can defuse negative feelings and often resolve a conflict without taking the problem-solving strategy any further.

When responding to conflict, adolescents often latch on to the first idea that pops into their head. SOLVE Steps 3–5 help students break this pattern by brainstorming possible solutions and potential consequences, and then evaluating and adjusting as necessary. When students approach problems as complex puzzles to be solved rather than as personal tests with win/lose outcomes, they develop the flexibility and confidence to complete the puzzle successfully.

Whenever we reflect on conflicts and recognize our role in them, we come face to face with opportunities to apologize. In Lesson 6.6, students explore what it means to take personal responsibility for their injurious actions, and then practice making a sincere apology. And on the other side of apologizing, is the option to forgive or not (Lesson 6.7). Forgiveness has the power to heal and help us grow, and even improve our health and longevity (Toussaint et al., 2014). It acknowledges that we are all human and make mistakes and that we can change. Yet it is beneficial to realize that forgiving does not condone the offense, nor does it mean that the offense must be overlooked and forgotten. Furthermore, forgiveness may not necessarily lead to reconciliation. Sometimes relationships have been the source of so much pain that the bond no longer exists, or time and professional help may be needed to effect healing. Still, letting go of resentment is an important step to take, as it can release the forgiver from the pain and mistrust they felt within the relationship. Forgiveness benefits the forgiver as well as the forgiven, largely from its ability to reduce negative affect (Lawler et al., 2003).

As discussed in Lesson 6.8, a romantic relationship during adolescence can be a powerful experience. Teens are especially vulnerable to feeling overwhelmed by the intensity and newness of their emotions, so it is important to proceed with caution through decisions that come with relationships during the high school years (Pickhard, 2012). In this lesson, students compare and contrast characteristics they may look for in a romantic relationship. They also use indicators to help them recognize the “red flags” of an unhealthy or abusive relationship. At this young age, students benefit greatly from learning to manage their expectations of a relationship as well as how to “break up” by being honest, direct, and considerate of the other person, while also ensuring their own safety and wellness.

Module 6 culminates with students working together to create their own Knowledge Hub, Teen Voices, or Demo video to share what they’ve learned with their classmates (Lesson 6.9).